How to be a strong Independent Women

For a long time I always wondered how a few changes in a woman’s life can make her a strong independent women. I felt as if I was, strong that is however after my little depression that I fell into in November, i feel that since then I lost my edge, you know? like i don’t feel strong, independent and well I don’t feel like myself.  So I do what I do best and i researched changes that I could make in my life to feel myself again, to feel strong again.

In my research I found lots of small changes I could make my appearance (since i spend most of my time at home now days) could help, as well as small motivational changes. And now that its helped me feel myself again, I felt that is could help a lot of women out there. so here is what I learnt.

First things first, put yourself first, when you see that you need more attention or affection, give yourself what you need. Pamper yourself, make yourself look the way you want to feel. If you are a stay at home wife or mom and need some TLC, then don’t feel shy to book that manicure or pedicure appointment and maybe throw in a massage to feel good and relaxed. Spoil yourself, you deserve it especially since you work so hard to raise your family and take care of your home. You don’t have to be a business savvy women to be strong, nor do you have to be a career women to be strong (something that I have learnt over the past few months). The point of this step is to take care of your own emotional needs. I can promise you that by putting yourself first you will feel more empowered, which naturally would make you feel more strong.

The next step, is probably the most important step and that is, Don’t compare yourself to other women. Having a female role model is great, just be careful you don’t fall into jealous feelings. I know, I know jealous emotions are natural and you will feel it from time to time, but you HAVE to remember all women including yourself are beautiful in your own way. All women are equal even though printed media and film have a way of featuring unrealistic  images of women, not only film and printed media, now with social media and the use of editing apps even our favorite celebs are in on the game. By not comparing yourself you are canceling out all your body image issues, and you will feel more motivated, in a nutshell be happy with the way god made you.

Third i would say,   Set clear boundaries that prioritize your own needs. For example, set boundaries with regards to as how much time you spend with someone, or the kinds of criticisms you are not willing to hear. Be sure you have other things going on in your life outside of any romantic relationship, whether it is school, work, friends, a fitness routine, or your family. You need to be satisfied and be your own best friend, be comfortable in yourself, from the way you look to the way you treat yourself. If you treat yourself with love and respect those that are surrounded by you would treat you with respect.

Forth, Stand up for yourself more, but not in aggressive way, but rather in a calm natural manner, we want you be a strong and independent not a wild and unhumble beast. Learn to fend for yourself in the real world if you want to avoid being taken advantage of. You must learn how to stand up for yourself at school, at work, and in your social life. Work on asserting yourself in a respectful way. Don’t be ashamed or apologetic about asserting yourself. Assertiveness is the middle ground between passivity and aggression.

Fifth, I would say, believe in yourself, When you believe in your abilities and your achievements, then you will convey strength. Pursue what you need and want. When you lack confidence or play the victim, you risk letting others walk all over you instead of getting what you need and want.

sixth, I would say voice your opinions when someone does something that you don’t like, I’m not saying be a cry baby, all I’m saying is, If somebody betrays you in any way, be sure to let him or her know. It can be difficult to share your emotions and feelings, especially when you feel hurt or angry. But telling the other person how you feel may help prevent the person from repeating the behavior towards you in the future.

My seventh advice would be, if you are codependent, you might find that the relationship defines your life. You might obsessively think about the other person and wait to make a decision until you’ve checked with him or her. Now I’m not saying being codependent is bad but as an independent women you need to make decisions on your own at times, I also mean that if you have an amazing idea don’t let whoever you dependant on to stop you from doing what you believe is the right thing or the right move for you in your career or a new project you are doing.

Last by not least embrace the uniqueness of yourself and others. Try to cultivate compassion and happiness for the fact that everyone is talented and gifted in her own way, including you! Every woman has her own best assets, whether it is her math skills, painting abilities, or leadership skills. Embrace the skills and resources you have and love yourself for having them.

These are the steps to help me feel, stronger about myself, let me know if it works for you, and know that if you ever feel depressed and need a little motivation feel free to contact me or a professional for help.

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